 |
|
I am creating a transitional space between
two places. I am making it all up.
03/09/2004
No exchange was made. I purchased the
alabaster jar for 350kn – about £30. She reckoned mine
one was alabaster but ‘nesto zeleno’ ruined it… ‘Has
there ever been a candle in it?’ – she asked. ‘No,
I just kept the ointment in it to anoint people’s feet… ‘ She
sniffed the jar. The shop owner’s daughter lives in Paris,
she married an Italian guy and they converse in Italian/French.
He can’t speak any Croatian. She was very impressed with
Gary’s Croatian – without an English accent. Some chit
chat. Some guy who looks like he’s from a Jules Verne novel
or recent blockbuster ’80 Days around the World’ was
in the shop – talking to her, observing some old watches… they
spoke in English. The shop is full of useless things… The
shop is expensive. I am happy to have got the alabaster jar. It’s
proper, it’s a prop and later on I can donate it to Oxfam – and
let it join the flow… become part of the world… In
a sense it would link my shots of Oxfam in Liverpool footage for
Dubrovnik.
I left some flyers/postcards in the post office shortly before
the event. The woman behind the counter wasn’t too thrilled,
but never forbade me to do so. I told her that my flyers were post
cards and thus linked to the postal services… She wasn’t
impressed. Once they charged me 7.20kn (£0.70) to post my
Magdalena post card abroad and the day after it was only 5kn (£0.50).
One stamp had a boat on it, the other had birds. At the end the
postal woman decided that the birds were the right postage for
my tailor made post card and charged me the lesser postage when
I bought the stamps for the audiences. 30 post cards with my image
are on its way to Liverpool. I posted 8 of them – those unused… I
marked them void. Will they arrive or be lost? Each member of audience
was given a post card with instructions to write over it and post
it to me in Liverpool… Address and stamp provided… 22
in all. I wonder how many will be waiting for me at 19 Livingston
Ct, Liverpool.
It’s morning 9:15am.
The children have arrived from upstairs – they slept at the
grandparents’.
Let me note what I need to write about:
The Gruda experience: the dress and throw, washing and hanging
them
Ivan and his ex girl-friend helping with the ointment for Liverpool
Driving through Postranje; myrtle found on the rocks
The other day my mother, Gary, the kids and I went to Gruda. Gruda
is a village in the Konavle area – the most southern part
of Croatia. My maternal grandmother and all her family comes from
the Gruda area. There’s a massive empty house that belongs
to my family in Gruda. Marija, my grandmother’s sister, the
owner of the house, doesn’t live there any more. She is in
the nursing home. She is in her eighties. She can’t take
care of herself; she hasn’t got any children. She refuses
to sell the house while still alive, but has agreed that the family
can do with it what they like after her death. The house has been
empty for a couple of years. She had a stroke. I went to search
the house for some props for Magdalena Makeup. The house was so
deserted; it smelled of old things and ghosts. Nela, my mother,
stormed through it and found some useful dresses, a nightgown,
scarves and knickers. I found old newspapers that reported Tito’s
death in 1980 and a bed cover that could well be used in my performance
as a throw with which I mark my space. I opened so many doors and
expected to see something spooky …
The other day we went to Mary Magdalene church which is situated
in Zupa Dubrovacka, just outside the city of Dubrovnik. It is from
Zupa Dubrovacka that my None, paternal grandmother, and her auntie
Magdalena after whom she was named were from…
A massive image of Mary Magdalene at the alter… long wavy
dark blond hair… She is all hair. I am desperately trying
to get hold of such a wig in Dubrovnik and it seems impossible.
Moreover, people do not seem to understand or want to understand
that I need a wig from Dubrovnik… that I can’t just
buy it in Liverpool and trick the audiences… lie to them
about bringing a bit of ‘Other’.
A nun from Mary Magdalene church offered me, my mother, Gary and
kids some refreshments. We had just arrived from the beach and
were really thirsty and hungry. We drank some pineapple juice and
ate lots of biscuits, a few pretzels too…
Later we drove through the actual village of Grbavac where my paternal
grandmother and her auntie Magdalena were from. I was filming the
journey. We stopped the car and I kept filming the houses and the
landscape, the distant sea, the hills, the barren land, nothingness
and destiny. My mother found some myrtle growing on the rock and
picked it up. We will use it to make the ointment.
The other day my brother called me up and told me to meet him in
town. He had a surprise for me. His ex girlfriend Erna, now heavily
pregnant and married to another guy, sent me some ‘Gospino
ulje’ (Our Lady’s oil), which is a combination of olive
oil and Our Lady’s grass – plant hailed for its miraculous
properties that grows in the area. My brother told me its Latin
name: hypericum perforatum. I have been advised to put 30 drops
of Rosemary essential oil into the Our Lady’s oil. I plan
on adding some myrtle and bees wax and making an ointment together
with my mother, the chemist. Should be fun… My brother just
called and told me NOT to put in any myrtle in the Our Lady’s
oil, but only rosemary essential drops… That is his expert
advice. I think I will obey his order.
The other day I read a local paper review of my ‘live art
event’. The report had me as a local make-up artist providing ‘treatments’ for
the waiting crowd… The reporter never attended the session.
There was no mention of my name. I enjoyed the ambiguity of the
article. ‘Unusual’ and ‘interesting’ were
the adjectives he used…
I kind of decided to have a rest with the ‘encounters experiences
with the Dubrovnik audience’ and concentrate on the preparation
of the Liverpool event… I’ve learnt that I learn as
I do…
01/09/2004
Today has been an alabaster day – talking
about what alabaster really is, how it looks, which colour it is.
I visited ‘antiques shop’ and the shop owner, a person
learnt in the history of art, has an alabaster jar on sale for
450kn (£42). It’s a lot, knowing that I got mine in
Liverpool for £5.65 including p&p. The question is if
the one I got of www.ebay.co.uk is
real alabaster - what is it indeed? My mother (degree in chemistry),
my brother (landscape specialist) and my father (an architect)
have all been involved in the discussion… Is my jar made
of alabaster? I searched the web and found some quite similar images
of alabaster to the jar I own. Would the antiques shop owner make
me an exchange, give me hers for mine? If only mine were alabaster…
30/08/2004
spikenard n
1. a perennial aromatic Himalayan
plant of the valerian family that has pinkish purple flowers. Latin
name: Nardostachys jatamansi
Also called nard
2. a fragrant ointment derived from
spikenard, used in ancient times
valerijan – za smirit zivce
gospino ulje se radi od gospine trave i maslinovog ulja
I’ve started the process of creating the ointment for Liverpool.
My brother Ivan is checking whether there is nardostachys jatamansi in
some Italian catalogues for plants.
29/08/2004
Post encounters in Dubrovnik… which
happened on 28/08/2004 from 9pm-3am. It was work, hard work… and
there was hardly any eroticism in it; no break at all. It was rather
all about getting on with my work, working as an artist, as Mary
Magdalene, as Lena, keeping to the schedule…
22 people in 6 hours
Ivana; Ivona; Mirjana; Zrinka instead of Srdjana; Vedrana’s
friend; Couple: female and male; Zvoncica, my sister-in-law (I
am running late); Girl that works in hotel Vis as an animator;
Sanja that mentioned Bach; Sven; Srdjana around midnight; Nela,
my mother; Natasa; Tina; Ervin, he came with a camera; Ben; Boris,
who seemed a perfect case; Vlasta; Evelina; Gary around 2:45am
I finished at 3am. Sessions were slightly longer than 15 minutes.
It was work. Some people sat on the throw; others were standing.
I think I preferred it when they stood, the less contact the better…
I am browsing through the video footage and find it embarrassing
to watch, I guess it is kind of incestuous. I think I should see
each one individually and write a few comments on each one. As
I watch the footage I realize I am some sort of lunatic who is
giving too much… and I am realizing that maybe I am not even
aware of what I am doing. Ervin asked me some questions during
his session, and I hesitated in providing him with an answer… I
could have spilt my ‘philosophy at him in English’ – but
the main thought I had was… do not come to me for answers… Just
because I am some sort of an author of this work doesn’t
mean I have the answers audience is so hungry for. I am creating
some sort of an experience for them, and they are giving it back
to me. It’s an exchange, an interaction, a transaction.
Watching my encounters… I gather that the audience is much
braver than me. Would I dare meet me, or other live artist/lunatic – doing
something crazy… like anointing my feet? Somehow I feel lucky
to have thought of this event… so then I needn’t be
an audience member.
24/08/2004
The website is almost up, and the flyers/post
cards are with me tonight. Luksa, the print man, remarked that
there was a bit of black ink on the writing part of the post card – I
don’t mind really. I refused to be a slave to professionalism
ages ago. Not being perfect is about process and becoming – what
in the world would I do with the perfect post card of this event?
Would I gaze at my face on it and admire it?
I spent yesterday night rehearsing the live action with Gary. I
will be inviting the audience into my space while wearing my little
red dress – more like Lena than Magdalena, and while they
are watching the filmed footage I will transform the space and
myself into Magdalena Makeup. If you don’t come you won’t
see me as Magdalena. Magdalena is something intimate, between myself
and each member of audience… something ‘Othered’.
It is in English in Dubrovnik and Croatian in Liverpool. Gary said
I shouldn’t be erotic – not to anoint the feet erotically.
I guess I can’t be playing erotica in an already erotically
defined encounter. However, each encounter is individual and therefore
I am quite open to give in. I have set out the basic outlines of
the live action – and will be improvising within them.
Zvoncica, my sister-in-law, is making a DO NOT DISTURB sign. There
are quite a few details to think about:
- shoes space
- signs on the door and on the door handle
- tv and all other technical equipment (transfer from mini
dv to vhs, vcr, headphones)
- I ended up finally using my laptop with headphones and feel rather
satisfied about the decision.
- stool for the tv
- chair for audiences to sit on
- money tin for tips -space for post cards (as feedback)
- have red notebook handy for audience/clients appointments
Also, I am trying to find a red dress for Magdalena Makeup in Liverpool
with my mother. I will search her wardrobe as well as my grandmother’s.
It somehow seems pointless to structure the event in the same way
it was done in Liverpool. Some other features are becoming prominent – this
time I am much more involved with autobiography or call it autoethnography.
22/08/2004
Visited Danche grave yesterday; watching
the footage today makes me nostalgic for yesterday. Magdalena rests
in the most beautiful cemetary in Dubrovnik – is there a
point to being in the beautiful part of town when one is dead?
It seems rather depressing…
20/08/2004
I am eager to visit Dance grave. Magdalena
was buried in a common grave, which was later bought by the family
Bogdan.
I am still to embark on the journey of finding the ‘archetypal’ costume
and props here in Dubrovnik. Should I go for the folk look – and
dress myself up as a peasant girl from Zupa? Conquer the streets
in a folk costume from the area where Magdalena, my deceased ancestor,
was from. I need to let Dubrovnik make it all up for me.
18/08/2004
Lokrum – my planned boat destination
in Dubrovnik – has been uprooted. Big cruise ship has managed
(due to an act of God) to dismantle the electricity cables and
water pipes with its massive anchor scraping the seabed. An act
of God, the papers say and insurance companies will confirm.
I wanted to take a boat to Lokrum in my Dubrovnik acquired Mary
Magdalene gear. I wanted to film my journey with Dubrovnik as a
backdrop. There will be other ways…
15/08
Dubrovnik ideas
Re-enactment of none’s auntie Magdalena fatal walk in town – seeing
her lover with another and dying; possibly visiting her grave on
Dance
I bought an old picture of Dubrovnik – 18th century replica
Something to do with past… something to do with my history… walking
over it
Writing over my history – palimpsest again
It feels strange that I haven’t even realized the first project
and I am already considering the second one, but it is only about
giving in to the moments around me… If only I could switch
off for a while…
21/07/2004 21:10pm
I feel I need to stop and gather everything
in one place…
For the past few days I have been running around Liverpool searching
for costume, wig and throw…
In Oxfam Super Savers on Bold Street I found a golden curtain that
can be used as a throw, one sleek red dress, one Arabian looking
number and a red top – that is still awaiting matching skirt
from Oxfam on Aigburth Rd – temporarily closed for painting.
I bought a new Mermaid Red Wig from Lili Bizzare’s Costumes
Hire Outlet. Lili Bizzare is a chatty Liverpool lady with a small
shop in Quiggins – a shopping centre that caters for vintage
lovers and Goths. Well, Lili Bizarre has recently been asked to
leave Quiggins and is in the process of moving all her merchandise
to her new outlet on Hardman Street – so I had followed the
flyer/map in order to get to the right Hardman Street place that
is full of wigs!!!
I have been filming my gathering of costume and props.
I feel like I have been doing a lot and nothing. AAAAAA!
I collected Liverpool postcards and asked my brother to buy some
Dubrovnik postcards.
15/07/2004
Today at my local Oxfam on Aigburth Road I
found a Mary Magdalene skirt. Since I dreaded looking for a top
to go with it, I didn’t purchase it, but will rather look
for a dress during the next few days.
…
As I am browsing through these web pages about ‘anointing
the feet’ I have come across witch doctors and casting spells
instructions. As I am waiting to hear what is with the space allocation
in Liverpool, I am starting to forget where I am with this work.
Is it important for Dubrovnik-Liverpool connection at all? Is it
only important in reference to Mary Magdalene? But how can one
tackle archetypal without being immersed in their locally rooted
life? Don’t we need something to smash the archetype against?
…
13/07/2004
Liverpool is as consumerist as ever… City
centre is all about shops. I will never quite understand it. Each
time I go into city centre I am expecting to see something else
and yet it is all always frustratingly all about shops and clothes
mostly.
Big sales are on. It is all in letters and colours and billboards
about sales sales sales. Spending…
I plan to venture into the centre with its shopping mania sometime
this week… and search for the dress and a sheet cover.
Liverpool 03/07/2004
Sales have started, which is great news for
my project. I went to the city centre with the kids today… We
kept watching the Radio City tower and the clouds… it seemed
that the tower was on the move, I was trying to explain to Neal
that it is actually clouds that are moving…
Then I imagined that there will be a happy Mary Magdalene consumer
day… when I will rush around shops searching for a proper
frock… ha ha
And a cover sheet….and other props… the wig!
And Liverpool on camera… taking the ferry across the Mersey
and in Dubrovnik I will take the boat to Lokrum, nearby island.
Being a ‘tourist’, seeing it all with foreign eyes,
afresh… both in Liverpool and Dubrovnik… playing it,
making it up, creating the images for the others…. The boat
journey also connects to the legend of Mary Magdalene sailing all
the way to the South of France.
The alabaster jar arrived today… all properly packed… and
rather appropriate… the right size… Filmed its arrival
and unpacking. I placed the alabaster jar next to the shopping… suddenly
here we have ‘universal object’ opposed to the banal
bread and milk,…
I am starting to realize that this project will have a lot to do
with materialism/consumerism… It is actually about ‘recycling’ images… (Rubens,
Liverpool/Dubrovnik postcards) All the things I need are existent,
I just need to re-discover them or rather place them in the context
of my piece of art…I have to discover the costume and props,
find them in the contemporary and make them ‘archetypal’,
which in turn should question the ‘archetypal’.
Make it up.
Reading “Visual Arts and Tourism’, I have come across
the idea of glamorising oneself – inventing the holiday self… which
is evident in holiday snaps. In a sense that is what I do for the
Dubrovnik crowd: glamorous me in Liverpool, my presentation of
myself in Dubrovnik. So… I need to ‘commission’ a
glamorous photo-session in Mary Magdalene frock on the boat journey
across the Mersey… Liverpool as my backdrop
<< Previous page
|
 |
